Many years ago and perhaps even now in some remote parts of Australia or just for fun, Australians wore hats which were designed to keep the flies away.
Anyone who has been to Australia will know that flies can be an annoyance in some areas. With so little water around flies are very interested in areas of the face where moisture can be found, the eyes for example, or the edge of the mouth. The joke is that the "Great Australian Salute" is a wave of the hand across the face, shooing the flies away. The hat is a simple Akubra with corks hanging on strings that bob around encouraging the flies to stay away in much the same way as a horse's tail waves around keeping the flies and other bugs away from their butts.
Last weekend while preparing for daughter's Baby Shower we were doing some shopping; Beer was on the top of the list of course, along with plenty that could be readily destroyed by "yours truly" on the barbeque that we had bought to replace the aging and well rusted two which could have been easily mistaken for a demonstration of rust art. Additionally since we expected a number of young children to accompany their parents we bought assorted outdoor games, a few water pistols and, because the flies can be a pain, a handful of fly swats in an array of colors sure to please the youngsters and perhaps tempt them to make a dent in the six legged flying bug population of Joplin.
On the shelves in Wal-Mart right next to the fly swats I saw something I had considered buying before but had balked at the expense, hardly surprising since I had originally seen the item in a Truck Stop. There it was in all it's powerful glory just begging to be bought and put to work and I couldn't resist the temptation, especially since instead of the $20.00 Truck Stop price, it was only $6.00 - plus taxes of course, heaven forbid that the Government doesn't get their slice of someone else's pie.
For six bucks and the cost of a couple of AA Batteries a good time could be had so after a quick visit to the Cashier I was loaded for bear, or buzz, or something like that.
Jeff Foxworthy will tell you that you might be a Redneck if quality entertainment is a 12 pack and a Bug Zapper, so I wonder if I are one too? I am now the proud owner of a hand held bug zapper. 2,400 volts of electricity ready, willing and perfectly able to send flies and any other bugs with wings into oblivion.
There is a note molded into the plastic handle announcing that "This Is Not A Toy". Wanna bet? Check out this "Gross and Goopy" video on You Tube. In the interest of good taste I elected not to embed the video here.
The standard fly swatter has a one up over the handheld bug zapper however, you can smash a bug against just about anything and it will not damage the swatter. Don't try that with this one because it will probably break. What the zapper has over the standard swatter is a very satisfying crack as the electricity held within the inner mesh is grounded through the bug making it explode in a blue flash of raw power. Thor would be impressed.
This is serious stuff folks and so much fun! Am I starting to sound sick yet? I hope so.
I checked through the instructions and didn't find a warning against using it in the rain but if you do, have someone standing by with a video camera, the results will probably go viral on You Tube.
A friend has informed me about another 'fun' option and one that really appeals to the ex-military in me. the Bug-A-Salt Gun looks like even more fun than my Bug Zapping Bat! I don't know how it works but it just looks like so much fun.
Check out the Bug-A-Salt Gun and tell me that wouldn't we fun. Go on, tell me it wouldn't be a "blast"?
Now to persuade Ellen that this would be a good thing to have.